Lazy S Ranch Scenes

Welcome to the Lazy S Range, the working range of cowboyprof.com. Here's the barn and windmill. The bunkhouse sits off to the left and the HQ building is directly behind us as we view the barn. Some of our buildings could use a might a work, but it seems that daylight always runs out before the chores. We're fortunate to have ample water on our ranges, even though some sections look a good bit like desert. Help yourself to a cup of coffee. And watch where you step.(No, not that, that's something to beware of in the pastures. Around HQ, you'll feel a slight pressure against your leg as our top hand kitties, Miko and Shanti, introduce themselves. Their most important job is guarding headquarters. Miko, the Wonder Kitty, is the ramrod of the outfit and the Cowboy Professor's faithful sidekick, always ready to share a meal. Both excel in their hunting skills, swatting flying insects out of the air and terrorizing vast hordes of imaginary prey.

Then let's ride around the Lazy S a bit and have a look at some of the scenery. Keep your eyes open and you'll see some mighty fine country. This ain 't the mythical West, this is the real thing (well, maybe it's a little mythical, but you can read my book on topic to decide--see link from my Home Range.)

As we ride about an hour due south of headquarters, we'll come upon our horse range. Some of the land is on the dry side, but these little canyons all have streams and pools that rarely disappoint or disappear. The horses like the canyons--shelter from sun, wind, and cold. I think they also like to hear their whinnies echoing off the red rock walls. Bald eagles soar above, and you may spot a mountain sheep well up the canyon walls if you have an eagle's eye.

We run our cattle on somewhat more open land north of headquarters. We've developed a special camouflage breed under a secret military contract. There are actually some 3,000 cattle grazing in this picture. Don't they blend in well? Always thinking, the military figures that soldiers and marines, much like any good cowboy, will work harder with a good meal to look forward to. Forget MREs. Forget that slime than comes from cans! With our special camouflage cows, an army can herd the animals right along with them. No one can see them [except with our special patented viewer]. Cooks can put a fresh steak on the old army tin plate anytime they want to. Now we're working to make the dust the herd raises invisible too! Your tax dollars at work! We have another herd developing near Roswell, New Mexico. . . hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

OK, we also run some more conventional looking beeves that are a little easier to see. We've strung some pretty good fence, because we're not sure what would happen if our visible and invisible cattle mixed together. We'd hate to have just the horns visible walking around the range. And what would a virtual ranch be without some virtual Longhorns. As a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin (PhD 1980), I must honor the institution with a few head of this storied animal. In late summer things can get a little dry. At such times, the hands carry canteens, because after the cattle visit the water holes, you have to chew the water before you can swallow it. Thanks to access to the Internet and TV, some hands now demand Perrier.

Course, once in a while nature kicks up her heels, just like the horses. We do get some fancy displays of lightning, especially during one of those blistering summer days. Clouds gather above the mountains to the west, and jagged tongues of lightning flick against the granite slopes. The animals, the hands, and the kitties just lie low for a spell and enjoy the show. Even the horses know to stay up away from stream beds when the thunder cracks. Flash floods can move things downstream mighty quick. That's why we built ranch headquarters on a nice rise that overlooks the river, but from a safe height. It also catches the welcome, cool evening breezes.

We do our best to keep our ranges healthy places for all animals, birds, fish, and other varmits. We're mighty proud to have a few examples of our national bird making a home on our ranges. We pull a few trout from the streams, but by and large we try to let nature takes its course. As a result we enjoy some spectacular visits by migrating birds and now and then spot a few critters that have become rarities elsewhere. We have one of the finest jackalope herds in the country [see The Mythical West, pp. 184-84].

Our favorite part of the day is sunset. The work's done for the day, once we've fed the kitties. We can slip off our boots, settle back into an old, creaky rocker on the veranda, and watch God paint day's end. We drink a cup of coffee (or whatever), talk over what went right and wrong that day, and plan what needs doing next. We'll tell a story or two at someone's expense--usually mine. But on those evenings when God paints the sky (much like Charlie Russell), we mostly sit in reverential silence and take in the show. It's one of the many things that keeps us at the ranch.

Well, hope you enjoyed visiting our range. Now ride on around the various cowboy topics you'll find at the Lazy S. You'll enjoy yourself and you just might learn a thing or two. Vaya con Dios!


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